A Call for Reflection

(I feel this email needed to be documented on this blog. It was written as a mass-email to my friends in mid-January. I just want to hang on to it so I know where my head was at during the various stages of this English-experience.)

Hey friends, I just wanted to give you all an update on how things are going 2 weeks removed from the best vacation of my life! Who would have thought that coming home could be considered such a good vacation. I was reflecting on it a couple days ago, and you might have been able to tell from talking to me, or from my condition, that September - December 2007 was the toughest times I've ever faced. It was downright depressing at times. The biggest most challenging experience I've ever had to deal with to say the least. To have come out of it in tact is a testament to the indomitable human spirit.

Coming home and being around you guys was very nice and it made me appreciate the friends I have. It made me realize that even our relationships have changed; with some of you I`ve grown closer, and some of you a bit farther. (I think you`ll agree-- such is the liquid nature of being in a large group of friends). But regardless of how it`s changed I Just wanted to reiterate what you guys already know; that it was nice to come home (again) to people who appreciate you unconditionally. I'm fortunate to have such a tight group of friends, and I am looking forward to coming home for good this summer.

Also wanted to give you an update (I can hear you guys saying it already- ''enough with the sappy/pansy shit zee''), but the last two weeks of school and teaching have been A LOT easier. It's amazing how differently the students treat you after xmas, once they know you're here for good. It's made things less stressful, and I'm happier than ever about being in this place. It has taken a lot for me to keep focused on the positive side of this experience, but I know that regardless of how good or bad this trip gets, I will never regret coming here. I feel I`ve grown up a lot over here. I`ve not fretted and worried about the small things as much since new years, and I`ve learned to see the true value in things because of this experience. I`ve learned to appreciate things for what they are little better. I have also felt a lot more comfortable just being me, which you may or may not have have noticed when I came home (depending on how perceptive you are). I feel good about who I am: comfortable in my own skin is the saying, I think. This is something I had trouble with after my return from Australia (hence the period of extreme introversion I experienced in those months). So it`s nice to overcome that. Anyway, as much as this rambling is intended for you, it`s also for me. Words are the method to my madness, the guide to my reflective state.

Words both binding and boundless can only carry me.

Thanks for listening. Much peace and love to all of you.

Zubin